Its been a long time. Very long time. But anyway, only today that i suddenly receive something called idea from above. Finally...
Lately i've been discussing about online relationship with anor. The root of our discussion is "Are physical attraction important in online relationship". Knowing her, you'll realise that sometimes plain chitty-chatty can become intense formal discussion. hehehe.
Anyway, both of us clearly hace different opinion regarding this matter. I personally feels that once you've build a strong relationship with the help of alphabet, you can easily accept the person for how he/she is, regardless of how they look like. Its like.."Hey, i like you, why should i bother how you look like"
As for anor, she totally disagrees with me. Her opinion is, physical attraction is important. Her reason, after knowing a person for quite sometimes online, one'll definitely eager to meet the person. Perhaps one can only wait for few months before start meeting the other. Say three months, the two of them meet. And the other person is totally physically not attractive. Its still only three months, separation can easily occur without too much aching. Hmmm... she has her own point there.
Still, sometimes i even think that maybe sometimes it is better to not meet at all. Just let me play with my imagination, sculpting the look from how he/she transfers her feeling into perfectly arranged alphabets. Picturing the smile on his/her face when he/she says good night and good morning to me every day. Fantasizing the slender fingers replying to my every sms. Visualizing the smile on his/her face everytime my e-mail pops to her computer screen...
Ah well, living in own wonderland is definitely better that the reality. But this is valid if you cam disregard your sense to touch. heh
Success in life. A lot of people may say... 'I want to succeed in my life' 'I want to be a successful person' 'Strives for success'
But actually, how'd you define success? Some may say that whenever they have a happy family, that's success. Living with a loving husband/wife, have cute li'l kids, and stay in a comfortable-not-necessari ly-big house. Meaning that they don't have to be rich. Just enjoy the happy adequately resourced life.
Others may measure their success based on their bank account. This may include the amount and length of cars, width of house, ability to fly without the hassle of ticket booking and perhaps amount of mistresses. This people may pay less attention to their family thus producing spoilt brat.. that in turn spoil other person, and other person... and the list goes on.. 8)
There are also people who puts knowledge as their icon for success. No matter how they appear, what they wear, who their family are. All that matters is they are able to crack/produce something valuable using their knowledge. That's successful.
OK, actually there are many more definition of success, but my low-glucosed brain cells are only able to crack up these factors.
Now, how do I define success? I think success is the ability to accept yourself and live without neglecting money, love, and knowledge. Fuiyooo.. that's vague!! LOL!
OK, I have another friend of mine blog of. I also met her from the bloghopping attitude. But not mine.. hers! heh She's from the southern part of Malaysia. I realise one thing that we have in common is that both of us are TV and VCD addicts. That's why she's also my supplier for pirated Buffy DVD. Ungh.. I shouldn't have write this. She could be caught!!! Heck!
Anyway, what i can't forget about her is how she always carries this one handkerchief to wipe her sweat. She sweats...
after a spicy meal
during a hot day
inside a car on a raining-heavily day
after getting an autograph from a famous Malaysian artist... So cute! Well, there may be more occasion, but we'll just have to ask her personally.. :D
She's also what you can call 'macho' at times. See, her handkerchief is MUFC's official one (I think..). She always have the best timing to leave home and reach Pudu in time to get her bus.
Even now when anor is bz bz bz.. she never fails to help. Thanks a lot! But it seems that I still haven't been able to keep to my promise of going to JB and meet her there..
hmmm... I plan to go to Genting this coming weekend. I also have this long awaited plan to go to JB during the final week of September. Above all that, I need to renew my car insurance and road tax before September ends. OK, so what do these things have in common? Simple, i may not be able to do any of it.
Heck! Yesterdays meeting shocked all staff. It seems that the company has a 'vacuum' in cash flow for the month of September, causing delay in out August salary. How long is the delay? Realistically, the management says they have no idea. What to do?
Ugh, I just don't want to make a stress over the monetary matter. Just come to work. Surf the internet for free. Use the phone for free. That's good enough! hahahaaa.. (I'm bad, don't do what I did) :twisted:
Last night anor's lil sis came to visit us. She brought together her new boyfriend, and have dinner at our place. Well, whenever she ties her hair in a bun and wears the large hoop earring, she really looks like J-lo minus the bum. So, yo guys can tell that she's somewhat good looking.
Er, why am i telling this? OK... its just that i've known her since she's still in high school. (woww! i've known anor since.. ever!!) And I kinda know her boyfriends. All of them has this Indian anak mami kinda look. Dark complexion and somewhat hairy.
But her latest boyfriend is soooo different from what I assume as her 'taste'. This boy is a year younger than her. And he has this definitely fair complexion. His looks is what most Malaysian call as 'jambu'. If you don't know what jambu is, no, its not guava. But a jambu guy is one that looks sooo feminine or what people nowadays say as metrosexual (ugh, I dunno whether I correctly use this term).
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that, sometimes we are to tied up with our own taste that we even shut our eyes to those different. While actually, they may be even better suited for our taste. I think I'm not wrong saying that human beings put their physical taste in partnering too much a priority, that we sometimes forget of other qualities.
So people, open you eyes and don't put yourself in a limited market.. heh heh heh 8)
My sister has been asking me on when to update this blog. Well, here I am, just not really sure whether this blog still attracts people anymore. :? Anyway, things has been changing so fast in my life lately, and I am what you can say as 'into the new thing'... What new thing? Well, basically a fresh life, friends and a new anor. hehe.
OK, so this few months I have the oppurtunity to meet this one girl. Frankly speaking, I really, really admire her (NOT romantically!). Well, not because of simply being a girl, but her attitude and courage is amazing for a 21 year old girl. Let me tell you about her.
I start to know her from this bloghopping attitude of mine. And suddenly I hopped to her blog. To me, her daily rant is amazing. So simple, truthful and catchy. As a little malay girl living alone in other country where almost everyone doesn't speak English, I really think she got some guts!
That makes me decided to know her well. So, wearing this tak malu muka of mine, I started greeting her in the messenger. We just bond from there. Simply because there are things that we CAN share, and she makes me feel comfortable!
So this summer holiday, I had the chance to meet her. (and also have the chance to make her buy me things from there...). First time seeing the real person, I am truly surprised. The girl that I constantly called 'budak kecik' looks even more matured than me!! Dang! How I mistreated her a lot during our online conversation.
What attracts me the most is the way she held her responsibility, her bravery, her determination in making decision, and basically how she carries herself, as compared to me; a useless brat when i was 21. heh.
OK, I admit that there may be more of you guys that i don't meet, who acquire such qualities. But I don't know who you are, so I can't write about you guys. If you are one, please let me get to know you! hehehe... call, e mail, whatever...
To this girl that I'm writing about, I guess you know who you are. Please realise that this writing is not to kipas/jek/puji-tak-tentu- arah you. Nahhh :P But it is simply to show my admiration, and how glad I am to meet someone like you.
Thank God, I am blessed with having a lot of great friends.. which I may write about each and everyone of you, soon. Just don't request for any royalty. I'm not yet rich! heheeee
wow! its been ages since i updated this blog. I really misses this blog, but the tblog page always have problem loading in my PC. heck!
It's funny that certain happenings in your life makes soo much differences. I do experiences some changes in my life that are both good and not so good.
The good thing is I have found some new friends from blogging. So now maybe the antisocial term given to me is not really valid anymore. Still, i maintain the title Otaku as mine!!!
One most not so good thing that happened to me is my bestest officemate is moving to another place. You know there's this feeling of emptiness inside. hehehe.. anyway, hopefully it's just a temporary thingy. But seriously.. i really hate some parts of my job. Right now, running away is not solving anything.. so my next step is change... What are the things that i need to change? ugh, let's just wait and see. And no! I'm not gonna change my blog host... :wink:
hmm Who are the Feminists?.. i've read somewhere in this Internet world that some person said that feminists ar just a bunch of whiny lesbians. Is this true? OK, to certain extend I somewhat admit that lesbians are feminist. Maybe most of them, and still I'm reluctant to say all.
But still, is it fair to say that feminism consists of only lesbians? Just think about all those straight and so-called normal female who happens to be a feminist also. Wow! Sure is tough to accuse them as lesbians.. hehe. Anyway, I think even if the Oxford dictionay defines feminism as a belief that supports equal rights between men and women, still many female have different views about the rights that needs to be equalized. Thus, this makes the subject of feminist too broad to discuss.
For me, feminism is what makes us female nowadays able to enjoy our own freedom to work, learn and earn money. Even during my moms time, she wasn't able to gain proper education, leading her to live a life of only a housewife. I think if a person like my mom is given a chance to study, she might become somebody by now.
Above all, its actually a relief that there is someone brave enough to start the tiny li'l action that leads to this feminism movement.
Its funny that one action that can be considered as utterly ridiculous during that time, can make a big difference now. An act that modifies the future. Hmmm... wonder when I'll be able to do that ridiculous action that can create an impact in the future... :roll:
While I was transferring a file from my pc to anor's handy drive, it suddenly pinged me that we have actually move so far ahead in terms of removable file storage. And i mean file as in the soft copy version, and not the printed one..
I still remember when I was in my upper secondary, the floppy disc is stil those of 5". Only few of the computers in my computer lab have the 3.5" drive.
Then its the era of those 3.5" disc, which is still in until now. Well, at least this is the only removable storage for my too old to work PC at home.
Oh, in the midst of not being able to store heavy files, there is the time when those with ZIP drive rules the files. There was once a consultant in my previous company, he really brags about how incapable the 3.5" disc is. How annoying. Well, hello... having an uncommon external drive with an uncommonly large disc is not really something to brag about!
Then its CD time! But the main problem about CD is, those with CD-writing capabilities is sooo rare as the rarest steak in town. And one blank CD is really costly. Nowadays, most PC have a combo drive where you can play and write CDROM, DVD, VCD, and other blabla-D all in one drive. And... you can get a blank CD for about RM0.50 each.
But a new device that's is really IN now (well, at least here in my environment) is the thumb drive!! Everybody has one, excluding me. I'm too poor to afford one. heh. But by far, this is for me the most practical solution for removable storage. Its small, almost every PC/MAC has the USB porty thingy at the back/side/front/top/botto m/whateva, it's so personalised that you can even use it as a necklace!
Ahhh... but that's here in Malaysia which is light years away from the development in other country. I wonder what's next? Will our life be compacted in just one card? could be... who knows! :roll:
OK, my lil' sister has received the offer for the degree in Occupational Therapy in a local uni here (the same that i've been). Congratulations to you!
Just a question, what is exactly working as an occupational therapist??? I believe this is a new degree offered in that particular uni. So, as usual, I did some googling, to find out the chance of working in this field. Well, for some reason I really hate to see my sister will have to menganggur in future.. like what i've experienced... :cry:
So, those with the job are described to help people with mental or physical disabilities to enjoy an ordinary life. Ugh, will it involves working with orang gila? Ish, that's too scary for me. But someone else will love it. I realise that this job may need the practitioner to take the role as a counsellor. So, to be one, you need to be understanding, and able to gain clients' confidence. Er, this i'm quite confident she can do... :P
And they have an organisation known as World Federation of Occupational Therapist (WFOT). hmmm.. kewl! Anyway, best of luck girl! :wink:
These are not mind but I think I would like to share it with you, fellow readers. This para makes me think in the morning. There's at least a semblance of truth, but for me it is very true indeed... :roll::roll::roll:
Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society. On the most profitable lie the course of events presently lays a destructive tax, whilst frankness proves to be the best tactics, for it invites frankness, put the parties on a convenient footing and makes their business a friendship. Trust man and they will show be true to you. Threat them greatly and they will show themselves great, though they make an exception in your favor to all their rules of trade.
A man may play the fool in the drifts of a desert, but every grain of sands shall seem to see ~ Emerson
The day before yesterday, anor and I went to American Chili's Restaurant and lunch there. As usual, she ordered burger and lemonade. Me.. i'm forced to enjoy my meal with hot tea! Thanks to my blood-coughing ability, anor refrain me from drinking any icy cold beverages, how inappropriate.:evil:
Anyway, as she ordered her meal, the waiter asked.."How'd you like your burger served maam?" OK, again, as usual, she answered medium. But is it the only way to answer the question. So, we both figured out different and stupid answers to the question... here goes...
Q: How'd you like your burger served maam?
A1: in between half-cut bun. A2: on a plate A3: without any vegetable please A4: brought to my table from the kitchen A6: ...by you A5: how else? as burger la
OK, so there may be more but my work is kinda not cooperating right now.. I'll leave it for you guys to add in the answer.. :D
What is freedom actually? What is in it that many people fight over it? And to what extent do you want your freedom?
I used to define freedom as the ability to do things without limitations. But as time goes by, and as i met lots of people. I don't think i should live with that definition of freedom. Now I really, really realise that as a human being, I need certain limitations. But still, there are certain things that I hope there's no limitation. Its sooo confusing that i want so many thing, and yet, I don't really want all of it. heh!
So, as I slowly comes into my low-level senses, there are actually various type of freedom that can have its own predetermined limitation. There's freedom to be in love, freedom to think & speak, freedom to enjoy faith & religion, financial freedom, knowledge freedom, and.... ugh, that's all I can think of right now... :lol:
You determine your own freedom, you set what you want. Same goes here. So to speak, I am still not able to enjoy the full freedom that I want. But I'm soo lucky that I know what I want, and I have plans on how to achieve the freedom that I set. wargh! its getting complicated!!
Anyway, bottom line is, we may not seek the same level of freedom in our life. So, don't despise what others want. Accept them for who they are. Only then we'll be able to accept ourselves for who we are. Ah well, I guess its back to the accepting issue again... (which me myself must learn to do... heh :D ) :roll:
ugh, i've had one of the worst fever in my whole life this past few days. Amazingly the high temperature really really affected my judgement and my mental state. I spent my day and night on bed most of the time. At that time i know i must eat, but i can't. Heck! I can't even sure i am able to differentiate two numbers.
And my house definitely, is in mess. Its great that anor came back just in time to save the house form the greatest mess of the millenium. LOL!
But today, i think i'm getting better and i am able to think straight (hmm... like i'm thinking straight everytime..) Anyway, i just want to convey the message that, being in the state of an abnormally high temperature.. (try 38.5oC!!) a lot of sleep is needed, just to keep you sane!
So, ladies and gentlemen.. in this hot and dry weather, please please drink lots of water and do not skip your meal. *This is a not a community service message*
It's Mother's Day yesterday. But I only have time to write about it today. And mom, Happy Mother's Day. I love you lots!!!
Everybody will say that their mom is the best. pfft! duh! of course! Same goes here, I'll definitely saya my mom is the best.. at least for me. The main reason is because she cooks very well.. heh :lol: And... she is also a very understanding mom. Tho' she's not hip and happening, like, she can't play guitar, and considers herself IT illiterate, that's still cool for me. The main thing is, she knows what her children's love and open to accept our opinions, tho ridiculous.
heh, i dunno what else to write, except.. love your mom! She is the one who gives live to us. OK.. so this may exclude mothers that throw away their kids. Hmmm... i wonder how they can easily discard a baby they've conceived for more than 9 months... :shrug: :roll:
I watched Human Discovery with anor last night. This week is about Facial Expression. And it made me realise that i've been taking my facial expression for granted till yesterday. So, the realisation centre triggered when I saw a li'l girl suffering from Mobius Syndrome. Its actually a genetic disorder characterised by facial paralysis. OK, is seems minor.. but imagine the girl cannot show her happiness, or sadness. She can't even smile, nor frown. Simply blurr..
ugh! I consider myself a a blurr person, but never have i thought that expressionless is actually a disease. Maybe next time I need to think twice before labelling myself as blurr.. heck!
Just imagine you cannot smile to the person you like. Horrible isn't it? Then it will definitely affect one's social life. So I may be anti-social, but thank God I'm not pathologically blurr... phew!
Not being able to smile is one thing, not being able to show disapproval, disgust, and anger... is also a problem. But one good thing is, people may not be able to detect your inner feelings, as they cannot read your face.
Still, just be thankful for whatever God has given to us. Everything comes with some benefits...
Yesterday my new boss told me that she's resigning. She'll only be here until end of May. Funny tho'. After my 10 months working in this company, I really feel that resigning is a domino effect, since about 4 of the team left starting end of last year.
It all began with the Project Exec left as she wants to help in the family business. Then, my baldy boss left because he's starting his tuition centre. After that, we have one marketing manager took the ownership of the department. Surprise surprise, the manager had some disagreement with the CEO, and left too. In good way of course. So, his place is taken by this lady boss.
Last week, a graphic designer left as she's helping her boyfriend in his new designing company. And now's the lady boss' turn. And rumours spreading that the 'never ending criticising' designer is leaving too, but the top management refuses to accept his letter.
Wow! Does this a good sign or bad? It makes me think, shall I also find a greener pasture? OK, I may have found the thing that I really really want to do.. but its just a matter of funding. I guess, once its settle, I might as well be leaving the company also. Stilll, when will my funding thingy materialise? It may be a matter of months, or even years... :roll:
yeah yeah!! Harry Potter and the prisoner of azkaban is gonna be released soon. I really can't wait. Seems that lots of great movie sequeal are coming. HP is one, there'll also be Shrek2, Spiderman2, Resident Evil 2.
To be honest i don't really watch resident evil. Maybe because i'm not addicted to the game. Anyway, now i am re-reading HP&tPoA. This is the first time i'm gonna watch the movie after reading the book. Because sadly, I'm only motivated enough to read after watching the second movie. Ugh, if only i knew the book was soo much better than the movie... :roll:
At least after this, instead of feeling curious to know what's next in the movie, I can concentrate on figuring out scenes that are not included in the movie, compared to the book. Heh, that should be fun.
But just a reminder, if you know, or you don't know the movie, please save your knowledge or curiosity at home, because otherwise... somebody may kick you out of the cinema (somebody like me...) :lol:
Alone in this warm cubicle makes me yearning for sanity and patience from my sub-concious mind. How I wish I am a yoga master with total control of my mind. At least I dont have to think to scamper out of this place. :x
While doing my light reading early this morning, I came across this verse which I would like to share with other ppl.. hope you like it :wink: Out of the night that covers me, Black as pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be, For the unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced or cried aloud, Under the bludgeoning of chance, My head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears, Looms but horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years, Finds, and shall finds me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. ~ Henry ~
This morning my car was having another problem. It faced another malfunctionality. Fail to start when I was at the petrol pump refueling. :!: :!: Just approximately three days ago, I just got it fresh from workshop, clutch problem. At the very same week, my insurance and road tax reached its mortality, pathetic. As a poor person (materailly and emotionally) it was really a burden. Money is one thing but the emotional turmoil and turn down was much more tormenting than that. That one cant be replaced even by all the $$$$$ you have even in the Gringotts at Diagon Alley. If you were to see me now, I may look like one haggard girl (am i still a girl?? :roll: ) in the middle of Sahara desert after the verdict of an exile, which is more like a “go and suffer in the sand” you fuc**ng scumbag !!! Ok …enuff venting. I allege my temporary insanity.
But I consider myself lucky and so thankful for that. At least I have few people whom I can call my guardian angels. These people soothed me a lot. At least this alienated me in this peculiar cult, I still have these people. Yes they are far from me but I still have them. In this mire, I have them to offer helping hand and emotional support. What else do you need in time like this.??? As a conclusion, I really hope that I can be other’s guardian angel. This is because I know how much it means to the person in need in their difficult time.
And for my Angels …. Hope to be your angel too and may you have thousands of other Angels when you need them…..
i realise that i've been dumping this blog too long already. Well, the main reason is i've got another muse. And the muse is, well... work, what else. This week has been so tiring.
Ok... yesterday, I realise that the term day (or maybe night)-dreaming is actually a valid term. Just want to say that last night I feel like in the limbo.. in between awake, and sleeping. Actually it happened after i watched the TV. Suddenly i feel like all the TV character is really connected to my real world, and my friends, colleagues are somewhat inside the tv series. Oh heck!! It takes quite some time to brush it off my mind.. but I can't.
Makes me wonder.. what triggers it? I've been bulls**itting myself that its due to low level of ATP. Ahhh.. mostly its just my excuse. Since anor left, i hardly got a grip on my life. tough ne?? hehehe.. but that's the fact. When she's back.. ok, then i feel like blood starts gathering and distributing oxygen throughout my body.
or maybe... just maybe... i need to get away from my refraining-from-eating- kinda diet... heh... i dunno
Everyone wants to have a nice family, where they can share every great and ungreat moments. I am soo lucky because i consider i have a great regular family. Tho' its kinda difficult for me to totally open up to my parents, still, I know they trust me and will always be supportive.
Can we say that a family consists of a father, mother and few kids? Well, at least that's the main regular character of a family. But still, it depends on how you define a family. Is it called a family because all the members are available? Or is a family is not about the members... but the quality.
What are the quality. For me its love and care, trust, understanding and support. So.... I do think that whenever we find people with these quality. We can also consider them as family. And still there are some (or maybe many) of those related to us that never came even near to those qualities. And it sucks to maintain the bloodline to people like that!!
eheh, anyway, just remember, God rewards you with blood-related family. If they can ignore you... why can't you ignore them?! There are many of those out there who can accept you with open arms...
OK... so I have the recipe for deep fried Mars bar. I hope anor'll fry one for me.. LOL!!
Ingredients: 1 Mars Bar (UK) or Milky Way (US) 1 cup plain flour 1/2 cup corn flour A pinch of bicarbonate of soda (baking soda to Yanks) Milk or beer Oil for deep frying
Directions:
Chill the chocolate bar by keeping it in the fridge, but don't freeze it.
Mix the flours and bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) together.
Add milk (traditional) or beer (which gives a lighter result) until you get a batter with the consistency of thin cream.
Heat the oil until a small piece of bread will brown in a few seconds, but don't allow to smoke.
Remove wrapper from chilled chocolate bar. Coat completely in batter. Carefully lower into hot oil and fry until golden brown. Serve, with ice cream or french fries, if you're so inclined.
Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me when i'm gonna get married. Well.. she's not really a 'friend' its just that someone that happens to invade my MSN msgr. Anyway, I knew her existence since the year 2001. 2001 is the year when my chatting life conquered almost every grey matter of my brain. Still, its not like i've met her or anything close to meeting her!!
OK, frankly, I don't really mind if a person honestly wants to get a glimpse of what's happening to me... duh! By she keeps on asking the same question. OK so I know, she now have a son. So??? Why is me not married bothering her? Its like EVERYtime she's talks to me its about when are you getting married. Hellooo.. like there's a male for me to marry.. :roll:
So, yesterday, I told her yes i'm getting married. heh! hope she enjoyed me making up fairy tales of the wedding of my dream.. hahah! dream on!!! Kering-kering kena tipu dgn aku. I think that's what she wants. Some ole-unmarried lady.. seeking help from a wife cum mother for some advice on marital bliss... yeah right!! But.. for the sake of making someone happy.. what the heck, its kewl to lie...
I remembered anor's cousin, when she was still single, she's soo annoyed when ppl asked her about getting married. But now, she become the 'annoyer', asking anor when to get married. Oh c'mon...
I hope this kind of ppl will realise that what they feel is wonderful is not always great on our side. Please believe that we have our own rainbow. and yours may not be as adventurous and as exciting as others. So... hopefully, those young wives please la understand that live doesn't revolve around the husbandzzz. :roll:
Well, today i really really feel like eating chocolate. Heck! I rarely crave for chocolate. Sounded soo feminine somehow...
Anyway, I think I know why chocolate... I read the Anthony Bourdain's book 'A Cook Tour' again. And during his visit to the Scotland, he mentioned about Mars bar, dipped into fish&chips batter, and then its deep fried..
Ughhh... can you imagine, hot, sweet and chewy bar.. Its crazy!! I believe its one of the food to die for. Heh, now I can't really think straight. I think I'll have to go down to the store below this office, and search for a Mars bar.. still where can i find the right kitchen to cook it?? :sigh:
Moods...
youtte
anor:
Now Reading
youtte: Malaysian in Transition Karim Raslan
anor: Awaken the giant within Anthony Robbins
I quote...
When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me. Or to lock
me in some mystical dungeon for all eternity here, with the torture. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me.
Willow
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